This morning my commute was 15 minutes. That's an improvement over last week when it hovered around the two hour mark. But that freedom, like all freedoms, came with a price. The nice house in the suburbs is still out there, waiting for me to get some time to clean up and fix up so it can go on the market. For now, my space and my stuff have been considerably reduced.
It's funny, I never thought I'd have such a problem with material things as I did downsizing and moving. I'm glad that Jesus didn't make his challenge to me instead of the rich guy in Mark 10. It felt sickening to me to think of all the stuff that I've accumulated in recent years. I remember being in college and moving from a temporary housing situation back to my parent's house and fitting everything I owned in the back of a Chevette.
It wasn't the thought of losing all that stuff that bothered me. Actually, I'd love for it to all just go away. What bothers me is the idea of it being wasted. I can't stand waste. To have bought something and discarded it before it has outlived its useful life is a waste.
Leaving a home that had such dreams attached to it is a waste. Not enough parties in the last year. Not enough summer nights on the patio. Not enough music played.
To have left a job with goals unfulfilled is a waste. It's a waste to leave behind relationships that never reached their potential or the hopes of those involved.
But there is an upside. It's called dawn. It happens every morning to announce a new opportunity. It's called hope: the things desired but not yet possessed. And more than anything, it's called freedom. It's the chance to shrug off the shackles, even the really pretty, shiney ones. I think that's what Jesus was calling the rich guy to. Losses, certainly, but the gain is freedom.
I think that the dog and I will go out on the deck for the evening.
Man, I wish I was where you are. I'm afraid it isn't quite midnight where I am...or perhaps the witching hour is approaching. For whom does the bell toll? I think it tolls for me and man, that sucks quite honestly. Enjoy the Dawn brother...I envy you, and if God wills, I am not far behind.
Posted by: franklin | May 29, 2008 at 08:12 PM
Man, I wish I was where you are. I'm afraid it isn't quite midnight where I am...or perhaps the witching hour is approaching. For whom does the bell toll? I think it tolls for me and man, that sucks quite honestly. Enjoy the Dawn brother...I envy you, and if God wills, I am not far behind.
Posted by: franklin | May 29, 2008 at 08:12 PM
"To have left a job with goals unfulfilled is a waste."
I understand what you're saying, but sometimes the goals we set for ourselves aren't the best goals for us to achieve. When you look back at this time, it might just look differently.
Hope you enjoyed your time on the deck :)
Posted by: wilsonian | May 30, 2008 at 08:45 PM